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After months of speculation about their living arrangements and the future of their marriage, Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck, little more than two years after they walked down the aisle in Las Vegas, and on the second anniversary of their official wedding in Georgia.
This will be a fourth divorce for Jennifer and a second divorce for Ben. This headline has sparked discussion about the trends of multiple marriages and divorces.
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Are multiple divorces common?
As recent statistics have shown, the marriage rate has declined as many of today’s couples avoid marriage altogether, and fewer people remarry after divorce than did so in years gone by. However, more people still get married each year than get divorced, many people marry and divorce for a second time, and a number go on to get married and divorced multiple times.
What does the data show?
Most marriages are first marriages for both parties, but in many cases one party has been married before, and in some cases both parties were previously married.
According to the latest US statistics (the US has a higher divorce rate than most countries in the world):
- 43% of first marriages;
- 67% of second marriages; and
- 73% of third marriages, end in divorce.
Why is it that past divorce significantly increases the risk of future divorce and was Ben and Jennifer’s marriage doomed to fail?
There are many reasons why second and third marriages are reported to be more likely to end in divorce in the US, including the following:
Some couples are known to stay together for the sake of their children, but a number of second and third marriages do not involve shared children, and many, like Ben and Jennifer, may have a blended family arrangement.
If the co-parenting of children is what holds some marriages together, a second or third marriage is more likely to end in divorce. This does not mean that childless couples are always more likely to divorce, but rather that couples who are not co-parenting shared children may not feel pressure to continue with their marriage to keep their family together.
On the contrary, whilst children may help hold a marriage together, step-children can cause conflict and be a divisive factor in second and third marriages. Common problems in blended families tend to be around different parenting styles and one partner not fully supporting the other when step-children are involved.
Whilst money may not have been a factor in the breakdown of Ben and Jennifer’s marriage, financial issues are one of the main reasons why couples divorce. Money can be a huge issue for many couples, but more so in second and third marriages as a result of each party having shared the capital from their previous marriage, and in some cases ongoing spousal and child maintenance payments. Financial worries and strain create pressure and stress, and money and spending can be the cause of deep resentment - particularly where former spouses and children are concerned.
On the other hand, the fact that some couples in second and third marriages tend to be more financially established can create other problems, as they can have different opinions on budgeting, saving and whether to hold monies in joint or sole bank accounts etc. If parties are used to managing their own money, it can be difficult to adjust to a new way of thinking and doing things, and the concept of sharing finances.
Whilst Ben’s former wife, Jennifer Garner, appears to be the beacon of virtue, this is not always the case. Couples with former spouses can experience additional problems in their marriage.
A former spouse who was previously left, by virtue of an affair or otherwise, may feel angry and lonely, and resent their former partner for moving on with their life and getting remarried, and they can cause difficulties and friction in the new marriage.
Some people just like to be married, and feel happier and more secure as a spouse, so they rush into another marriage before properly recovering and healing from their previous marriage.
Embarking on a new relationship whilst grieving an old relationship and struggling to manage finances and children can be overwhelming, and fatal in some cases.
Some couples stay together because they are not sure what divorce will mean for them, emotionally and financially.
However, for those came out of their divorce relatively unscathed, or manage to quickly re-build their finances, another divorce may not seem like a big deal. After only two years of marriage, this appears to be the case for Ben and Jennifer.
There has been press speculation that Ben and Jennifer do not have a pre-nuptial agreement. This is surprising, as couples on their second or third marriage are more likely to have a pre-nuptial agreement, and particularly if they have pre-marital wealth in their own names to protect,setting out how they wish to divide their assets and liabilities and deal with income if the relationship ends in divorce - in which case their respective financial positions post-divorce may not be a concern on the next occasion.
What can we learn from Ben and Jennifer?
Not all multiple marriages are doomed to fail.
For couples who are considering remarriage, understanding the common issues that crop up in multiple marriages, talking to each other about their worries and particular circumstances, supporting each other and being prepared for the road ahead, can lead to a successful marriage - whether it be second, third or fourth time around.
Family@Sheridans’ solicitors provide expert guidance on divorce, separation and nuptial agreements.
If you are looking to divorce or separate – whether it be your first, second or third marriage – we can guide you through the process, arrange the required support and help you achieve an outcome that will give you confidence and security for the future.
If you are considering remarriage, we can advise if you would benefit from entering into a pre-nuptial agreement, and what that entails for your family’s circumstances.
